This is one project that originated from Deno and I, actually the Muslims. I must say, him being Malay/Muslim really can inspire some really creative ideas.
Like the way all intellectuals think ( I’m not quite there)….there is always a background to a project, history, research till date, problems, method of solving, hypothetical conclusion, mechanism……(SEE IM MAKING STUFF UP NOW). Lets keep this simple!!
BACKGROUND:
So here it goes, this is a tentative date for the tentative project. This project started off when I had cravings for fillet mignon…and I thought, since we are back during CNY, we should get together at my place, I’d make proper fillet mignon on the grill, open our bottles of wine and enjoy…
Deno: OMAHA BEEF (thx to your blardy influence JING QI QUAH) Oh, let’s make salt beef and salt ox tongue……
Seriously, dailo…need or not???
Problem 1: Where do we get fresh meat in Kuching??
My reply: Takkan ask ppl from Omaha to send the meat to Thailand and ask someone to pick it up from there. (Tautaulah JQQ seems to have encounted such incidents).
Suggestion:Why don’t get JQQ to fly some in when he flies in too….??
Deno: FUCKING HELL…kill a cow lah…every Raya oso kill 3 cows….
And there u have it…the ingenious plan to KILL A COW FOR CNY!@!
RESEARCH:
Every good project requires extensive research. I have spent about 5 hrs on this...no lie! I am looking into the possibility of killing a cow or a calf. Ups for cows are that they have more meat , downs, meat not so tender whereas for calves, which are killed usually 9 mths old are more tender, not so mch meat, but would do? I have no idea.
Main concern is time. With 5 weeks left to CNY and 6 weeks to the event, I want my cow to be fat, and DRUNK. I want to the cows to be fed with beer (preferably FRANZISKANER) and I would hire a masseur to massage it. No cruelty to animal. Pamper it before u kill it (exactly the way u should treat your girlfriend/boyfriends).
PROBLEMS:
How the hell am I gonna get a waygu/kobe beef like meat from my cows? And what should I call it, since it’s called Wagyu in US and Kobe in Japan and ours is made in Malaysia. Suggestions please?
Oh and the problem of whether to kill a calf or cow is not solved…. and how long should I hang the meat before it is actually cooked? Usually meat in the market can be hanged to dry from 24hrs to 4 weeks. Depending on how you want the meat to be. Fresh cut meat is not as nice. They are way too bloddy and u have to let the enzymes work into the meat before eating it. The ROTTING process has to start 1st.
SOLUTION:
JUST GO FOR A BLARDY CALF OR WHATEVER WE CAN GET.
We are now looking for some good samaritan who will actually take care of our cow during this 5 weeks before we get back. Please feed it as much beer as it can take, give it a massage or I will get someone to do it, after its meal and let it have a good life. Let it eat grass from my garden and Deno’s garden alternatively and if our grass runs out, we will find new feeding ground for it….
After the 5 weeks, I/Deno will be back in Malaysia. We will take custody of the cow; bring it on drinking nites with us. (this is Deno's idea) The cow will drink equal amount of whiskey and/or vodka that Deno and Daniel (my brother is my representative, I have quit binge drinking). And two days prior to the slaughter, we wud say our prayers and sembelih it the HALAL way…just so that our Muslim friends can enjoy it too….
Conclusion:
There is no need for conclusion. We shall kill it, lay the meat out on the table, decide what to grill and decide what to do with the rest of the meat.....
p/s: Msg me if you are interested! FB is preferred.
This would be how the pre-slaughter cow will look after all the alcohol and massage....
